dear people, I woke up this morning, had about 2 cups of coffee made from the dirty water that I left on the desk last night. It tasted like shit... esspecially that I dropped a cigarette in it (but that has no importance right now), yet, I don`t feel stupid enough to hate myself. After all... there can be worse.
I grabbed my coat, as I had to be at the office at 8. But the stupid cab driver didn`t trust me enough when he saw my price-charming-mornin`-face, so he decided to leave me there and drive on his own. I got scared. Actually I ran back upstairs and watched myself in a mirror... and I thought that I really look like shit... yet, I don`t feel stupid enough to run away from myself, after all... there can be worse.
Ok, so I was late for bloody work. I ran all the way to the office with people watching me strangely, asking themselves why the fuck I would run like a schizofrenic raped by a doney. I kept asking myself, if they were in a hurry, if my rush was lame, if they forgot that they do that every morning too, and despite that, they seemed quite surprised by me. So, when I got to the office, instead of going directly to the desk, I end up in the bathroom, poo-ing and peacefully thinking if I was wrong and people from the streets was right. Conclusion, I was neither wrong, nor stupid to run away from myself, after all, there can be worse.
I finally got to my desk. Papers, sheets, toilet paper, people... everywhere. Phone ringing, messages, myself. I`m focused. More focused than ever. I feel like crystal clear with myself. I have no reason to run away, to hide, to chase ghosts. I am free. And I am not stupid. And not running away anylonger.
Faithfully,
Lady Arwen
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